Mop-Up Bonus
By Hyatte
The question is... is there too much me going around?
Of course not, I'm addicted to FAME!! I only hang with people who kiss my ass, and spit upon those who dare to "tell it like it is!"
In any case, a great idea is turning into a headache.... what with me being a newsguy every night and all. So, if I stay on the news for the future, this comic thing will be the first casuality.
Widro tells me it's drawing roughly half of what the Raw Mop-Up does, which is pretty much what I expected, in case you were wondering.... and why on earth would you do THAT?
Okay, let's go... mee-ho
DC VS MARVEL: THE SHOWDOWN OF THE CENTURY
Written by Ron Marz (Who can't believe he gave his GL gig up to some dick from The Real World)
Drawn by Dan Jurgens and Claudio Castellini (call me crazy, but one of these guys is a dago)
Inked by Joe Rubinstein and Paul Neary (his arch enemy is Peter Afary)
Lettered by Your Momma (so long as she's named Bill Oakley)
Colored by Your Pappy (so long as he banged Bill Oakley... HOMO!)
Separated by Digital Chameleon, (Can contort his body into any single digit number)
Assistant Edited by Chris Duffy and Joe Momma (no relation to Your Momma)
Edited by Mike Carlin and Mark Gruenwald.
Published in 1996 (or 9661! My God, they are from the future?? Their here to KILL US!!!)
Chapter III (or: Now, here be the big GUNS!)
-splash page opener. It's Jubilee. The Marvel spunky pre-teen with mutant abilities, the bod for spandex, and a serious 'tude (I think I just explained every pitch for every new super heroine at every meeting ever in the history of comic books) is writing in her diary. Dialogue boxes fuill us in. You can tell she's speaking from her own heart and not the voice of some chubby, over 40 male writer because she's writing in cursive and underlining the important stuff. (I wonder if Lucinda Handwriting will translate on the submission board, if it didn't, trust me... I wrote the last sentence in cursive)
-Jubilee's diary is used as a narrative device to tell those coming in late with no money for back issues just what happened and what the stakes are. 11 heroes from both universes will square off and.... and....
-*sigh.... this is so stupid. I apologize for wasting your time, and mine. Comic books, I AM RECAPPING COMICS BOOKS!!! WHAT KIND OF DOUCHBAG AM I????
-oh, I have GOT to get out and get laid. Female laid.... none of that gay stuff anymore.
Screw it, I'm out.
This is Hyatte.
(Link to part 2 is dead in Wayback Machine)